Dear Sam, Happy three years to my baby boy. I love this picture of you from the morning of your birthday. It radiates joy and passion, (and a little mischief!) which are two things God has given you. You are passionate about the things you love - your siblings, especially Josie, your Daddy, any kind of ball, getting dirty, climbing, yogurt, your fingers and blankie, and all technology! You have a joy in life that rubs off on all of us. We sit at the dinner table each night, and it never fails that your stories and jokes are the center of attention! Daddy and I find ourselves telling "Sam stories" each night after all the kids are asleep. I am amazed how a little person can frustrate me and make me laugh all in the same moment! You are my sidekick, my "best buddy" as you say. We go through our days together. I love that and wouldn't trade a moment I have with you. Three years is not enough to read to, play with, laugh at, cry along with, sing to, and hold. You are strong-willed and determined. You are convinced that you are actually ten years old. When I picked you up from your crib on the morning of your birthday, the first thing you said to me was, "Is it my birthday? I'm ten." But you are three, and I look forward to this year with you. I know God has great things in store for my little blonde, blue-eyed wonder. Sam-boy, I love you with all my heart. Mommy

march memories

I love March. It feels like anything might happen. It feels like new beginnings with spring around the corner. But what I really love about it is the memories. March is when our family of two became a family of three. I became a Mom on March 8, 2004.
Last week our firstborn turned eight years old, and all I can think about is that moment when I saw his face for the first time. It was a beautiful moment. I finally understood what my Mom meant when she told me that being a Mom was like watching your heart walk around outside of your body. In a moment, my life changed forever. March will always be my favorite month for that reason.
And now I look at my son and I tell him thank you every day....for making me a Mom, for being my brave son, and for changing my life that March day.

Let every heart prepare Him room!
We are so excited to start our advent devotions tonight.

life as we know it...

1. ...is simple. I am learning more and more it really comes down to how our words and actions honor the Lord. We are trying to simplify and model what is important to the kids. I fail - a lot - but thankfully God's grace is big enough even for Mommy!
2. ...is challenging. I wish I could say it's easy but we struggle. Right now some of our struggles include: a two year old that throws fits, me learning to infuse Jack's factor meds into his little veins, and balancing an extremely tight budget month to month!
3. ...is sweet. There are so many moments each day when I stop and say to myself, "take a picture in your heart and mind, and don't forget it!" I wish I could bottle up Kate's little voice, Josie's snuggles, Jack's gratefulness, and Sam's cute little two year old body!
4. ...is meaningful. We fill our days with what matters. Homeschool for Jack and Josie takes up our M/W/F mornings. We read the Bible and pray every day. We sing and dance. We slow down and rest every day. We play outside every afternoon. We eat together every evening. We want to be a Colossians 3:23 family.
5. ...is hopeful. It's been a hard season as we see some of the folks we love the most hurting physically. Jack and Josie especially are very sensitive and compassionate, remembering to pray daily for Mimi, Garrett, and little Scarlett.
6. ...is a blessing. I have my dream job! In one day, I get to teach, cook, clean, play catch in the backyard, braid Kate's hair, bump a volleyball with Josie, read books, chase my two year old, sing, do laundry (yes, I like it), and catch up with my best friend at the end of the day. I do not take these gifts for granted. Life as we know it at the LHIGP is good.

If I could freeze time, I would.
It makes my heart so happy to see my crew playing together every day. I thank God for a school schedule that provides more family time.
I don't take for granted this special time when all four kids love to cuddle, want to be home together, and are best friends. I know a time is coming when I won't be so cool, and they will want to be with their friends more and more....but for now, all we need is right here at home.

two birthdays for Josie

In May, Josie came to us so giddy. She wanted to pray to have Jesus in her heart! We spent some time in prayer and she was so happy to be a "new creation!" We claimed the verse 2 Corinthians 5:17 for her...."If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old is gone, the new has come!" It is amazing to say that my daughter is now my sister in Christ! She wrote in her journal that day, May 17, 2011, "Best day ever!" This will always be her spiritual birthday, and I will never forget praying with her that night. She decided she wanted to follow Jesus and be baptized so we set the date for Sunday, September 11th when our families would both be in town.

Yesterday was a day I will hold in my heart forever. As Will talked about her salvation story, she was truly glowing. She proclaimed that Jesus had died on the cross for her sins to all those who were at church for her baptism. Will prayed for her and baptized her in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit! Then, we celebrated with special friends and family at a special luncheon in her honor. What a day!

And today, we celebrate her birth six years ago. She came into our bed this morning and we snuggled. I told her all about the day she was born and what I said when I saw her for the first time...."prettiest face I have ever seen!" I told her about who came to visit her, how we swaddled her, and how she hardly ever cried. I can remember what it felt like to hold her and kiss her button nose. I remember her bald head and sweet pink skin. I remember Jack meeting her for the first time and touching her so gently and saying "sister baby." I remember bringing her home in all pink. And now she is 6! Six great years with the sweetest girl on Earth.

Josie, you have blessed my life abundantly. God made you kind, compassionate, generous, silly, and thoughtful. He gave you freckles, blue eyes and a smile that lights up our house daily. You love to laugh and make others laugh. You put your siblings needs above your own, and love to join in a group hug when Mommy and Daddy hug in the morning. You are smart and so creative. At six years old, you are almost as tall as Jack, and taller than most your friends. You love to dance, swim, and play the piano. You still suck your thumb and cuddle with your blankie when you are tired. Your best friend is Jack and you are a little mama to brother Sam.

It's hard for me to let go of you, but I look forward to all the Lord has in store for you this year. Happy baptism and birthday to our Josephine Marie! We love you dear one.

journey

At the Hemophilia Conference in June, I left feeling motivated and excited. It was so eye-opening and gave me great confidence in being Jack's caregiver. It also helped us make the decision to put Jack on once a week prophylaxis. You see, his hemophilia is moderate, right in the middle between severe and mild. Some kids with mild hemophilia will go years without having a bleed. Most kids with severe get their factor infusions 2-3 times a week to prevent bleeds. So, we are kind of in no man's land. Jack's level is very rare and sometimes hard to diagnose, and even more difficult to make a plan! We have chosen to see this as a gift from God - we know God has set apart our Jack for greatness. He is unique and wonderfully made!
As our son has only grown more and more active and involved in sports, he has had increasingly more bleeds. Just last week he had an elbow joint bleed, and he had no idea why....he didn't fall or bump it. On Wednesday afternoon it was sore and by Wednesday night it was swollen and he couldn't bend it. He needed factor soon!
More incidents like this have led us to prophylaxis. So, last month, our awesome home health nurse started training me to infuse factor into Jack's veins once a week. I learned how to mix the medicine. I learned how to put on a tourniquet, choose the vein, clean the infusion site, stick the vein, and administer the factor. I am still working on this but I am almost there....so many steps. I have to say that Jack has been so encouraging and the BEST PATIENT EVER! He is still, calm, patient, and tells me I am doing a great job. I am so blessed to be his mom.
As we continue this lifelong journey, our next step is for me to train Jack to self-infuse. He seems young I know, but this is the age that boys are encouraged to take control of their infusions. Step by step, we will train and encourage Jack to be independent.
There is joy in this journey.